Monday, January 09, 2006

Leaving the mind reeling

I found this passage in a heater data sheet, while at work today. I removed some brand-specific information, to protect the guilty, but preserved the essence of the prose, including the dizzying repetition, bewildering lack of punctuation, and shifty sentences that try to string together too many ideas at a time. In the third sentence, the redundant "through" suggests that the proofreader didn't even manage to stay awake from one end to the other.

[Our new] circulation heater is an ideal heating solution for demanding applications. The heater consists of a helical coiled tube cast into an aluminum body with tubular elements. The aluminum body serves as the heat transfer media between the tubular element and the coiled tube through which the fluid being heated passes through.

The unique construction of the heater allows it to be used where thermally sensitive materials are being heated such as paints, resins and flammable materials such as fuels and solvents. The aluminum mass acts as a "thermal flywheel" and ensures accurate temperature control of the fluid to prevent degradation. The heater is available with optional explosion proof enclosure for use in flammable environments.

The heater comes with a heavy wall seamless stainless steel passageway that assures performance in high-pressure applications where viscous or mildly corrosive materials need to be heated.

Sales literature may be the first thing your customers see. If your marketing materials or customer information sheets read like this, please seek professional help.


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